Depression Used To Rule My Life!

Most people wouldn’t believe me if I said that I used to be medicated for depression, but I was!

My “Happy Pills” were Citalopram… and my “Sleepy Pills” were Tamazopam. I hated taking pills. I felt weak. I felt like a failure. I felt like giving up at times, and by that I mean… completely giving up. Now, however, I’m happy, I’m in love with life, I have an amazing relationship, I love what I do… and I love who I am.

 

As I’m writing this blog post, I’m feeling a little exposed, but I think that it’s time to “come out of the closet” so you get that I’m not perfect, I never have been and I never will be. I’m not getting down on myself. I’m just being real…I’m just being Liz Benny.

The idea of writing this blog came from some feedback I received from a person who visits www.TogetherBeHappy.com regularly… and was confused about how I could always be so happy. You see, it’s not that I’m always happy… It’s just that see things differently now than when I was depressed. For example, I used to focus on how crappy my life was compared to others, who seemed to have it all. They were beautiful, rich, had cooler parents (sorry mum and dad) and had endless opportunities in life. I, on the other hand, was poor, fat, ugly and incredibly confused about what life was all about. I can’t believe how mean I was to myself now that I actually write that!

I also used to think that I’d never be happy, rather that I’d always be depressed. Sound familiar? If it does, please read on.

It’s been a long road to get to where I am now. I’ve learnt a crap load about myself… mostly, I’ve just learnt to accept myself for who I am. In doing so, I see my world through a different set of lenses. I see opportunities. I dance in the mall when I feel like dancing (I did that this morning actually), I hug random people in cafes (I did that yesterday and I taught a client of mine how to really hug people) and I smile at strangers, just because I want to make them smile.

Life is truly awesome now… In saying that though, I’m incredibly grateful for my years of depression. They’ve made me hungry for change. They’ve made me hungry to help spread happiness throughout the world. That’s why I’m doing this thing called TogetherBeHappy, it’s why I coach and as exposed as I may feel, that’s why I’m writing this.

I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that humanity can be happier. My goal is 10,000,000 happier people … The ball is rolling.

Liz Benny

Steve Jobs, Apple and Happiness – The Connection

Regardless of whether you like Apple or not, regardless of whether you like Steve Jobs or not… This video is full to the brim of awesome “Ah ha moments”.

Feel free to share what you think!

How To Be Happy

Today we’re checking out the topic of: “How To Be Happy?”

Sometimes there are things in your life that sporadically make you happy right? Like, seeing “so and so” for an couple of hours or listening to that song that reminds you of a happy time … but imagine if you could actually be happier… more often.. and for longer periods.. like always maybe? Would THAT be cool???

Sure… so how about setting up the foundations for making this happen. How would THAT look? How do you do it?

Well, there are five main areas where happiness comes from… so wouldn’t it make sense that if you had all of these five things as foundations in your life… that you’d be happier?

Sure!

So… Let’s think of the following five points as bricks in the pyramid of your happiness. The bricks are as follows:

Brick 1: Connection – To other humans, a pet etc.

Brick 2: Be Active – So Exercise

Brick 3: Taking Time Out – To stop and marvel of the wonders of YOUR life (cos irrespective of the crappy day you may be having… there are loads of things that you can be grateful for having)

Brick 4: Learning New Things – Stretching your mind

Brick 5: Give or Contribute – To Others

So, grab yourself a sheet of paper. Along the top write “Connection”, “Exercise”, “Time Out”, “Learning” and “Contribution” and draw a line down the page between each word. Now spend half and hour and write all the ways that you are currently filling each of the categories. Be honest. After you’ve done that… turn the page over… write the same headings at the top of the paper… then write all the ways you can think of to get all the connected, exercise.. etc. They don’t have to cost a lot, remember that. Happiness is not a commodity you buy… it’s a state of being. Seriously, spend some time on this and work out what’s realistic for you. Once you’ve done this exercise you’ll have a clear map that will provide you with ideas of what to do when you wanna bump up your happiness. Yeha! Go you happy bunny you!

Cheers,

 

Liz

 

(PS… Leave a reply below… I’d love to hear from ya!)

 

Bobby McFerrin’s – Don’t Worry Be Happy

Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy”…

WOW!

Why Is Happiness So Elusive?

Many people talk of happiness! It’s almost as if it’s the latest craze! Actually… you know what? It is! For countless years people have suffered! As a society we’ve gotten more and more stressed, more and more refined in what we eat, faster and faster in what we do, fatter and fatter our size, bigger and bigger in what we drive and louder and louder in how we tell others how poor, stressed or unhappy we are!

ENOUGH!

Today’s message is going to be a slap in the face for some of you. BUT… it’s a slap in the face with absolute love and respect for who you are now… and for who you are able to be if you JUST CHOOSE be happy.

Firstly, I want to set the groundwork in place so you can completely understand why Liz Benny is blogging WAY more directly today. I have recently come through an incredibly stressful, sucky, crappy week. It SUCKED. It hurt. It felt like crap BUT… I had a CORE happiness with me that never left. I was happy IN SPITE of the absolute SH*T situation I was experiencing. I was still drinking coffee, reading, talking to friends and goofing off. Now, this blog is NOT a “Ra Ra” blog of how I “got through” that situation – that’s for another day, another book or another call.

This blog is about choosing happiness in spite of money, relationship, health, wealth, the weather or the freaking colour your kitchen is painted. Seriously! Make a freaking choice to be freaking happy. That’s where it starts!

CHOOSING!

CHOOSING TO BE HAPPY IN SPITE OF CIRCUMSTANCES – (Just in case you didn’t “get it” the first time).

Choosing to be happy is step one! Taking action to be happy is step two… and you’ll find countless ways and means and tips to be happy here at www.TogetherBeHappy.com. It’s your happy site. It’s your “tool kit” so to speak.

With absolute love and respect,

Liz

 

THE Most Amazing Run – The DIRTY TRUTH

THE Most Amazing Run – The DIRTY TRUTH

OMG… It’s going to COST the earth!

OMG… It’s going to COST the earth!

Unexpected Happiness Hiding in my Letterbox

In my experience when you give and give and give to others… you get, in return, the coolest “Out of the blue” things that come your way. I’ve been given some VERY cool stuff in my nearly 31 years, from free flights, free vouchers, free dinning room tables, free coaching… and I’m grateful every single time something like this happens. My latest example… is a simple but very loving gift that brought the WORLD of happiness to me.

I went out to my mailbox to find a letter there… no bills, just a letter. Being naturally playful, I did an excited kiddy dance at the letterbox, not caring at all if anyone saw me (For those of you that know me… you can just SEE me doing that, right?).

I then ripped it open to find this:

How cool is that? VERY cool I say! It’s hand made, it’s full of love and it made me very happy.

For those of you not in New Zealand, we have been experiencing some rather large earthquakes here in Christchurch over recent months. They’re scary, shaky and unsettling… and to receive a gift of love like this… is pretty fantastic if you ask me!

… The lesson I took from this is just how simple it is to make someone’s day! Gill put together a piece of blue fabric, with a ribbon and a button… but it’s more than that, right? She took the time to make an ornament into the shape of a heart, put on a very cool HAPPY face, and a sexy wee ribbon then placed this in a cool card with a heartfelt sentiment.

What can you do today to make a huge difference in someone else’s life?

Thanks SO very much to Gill and Robin! What a wonderful gift to receive. I appreciate you both, very much!

If You’re Happy And You Know It…

Clap Your Hands!

(Watch this… and you’re bound to smile!)

Your Shortcut to Happiness – Inner Happiness

Some time ago I wrote a book for a dear friend of mine. She was outwardly incredibly bubbly, happy and the life of the party but was, on the inside, one of the most hurt souls I knew.

Having had personal experience as an outwardly bubbly person who was hurting deeply on the inside, I felt the missing ingredient for my friend was one that is missing in many people’s lives. The ingredient I’m referring to is happiness that comes from within, from yourself, from your own experience with life (rather than being happy when something good happens, for example).

Now, I’m a pretty lucky girl. I’m incredibly grateful for the life I lead, but let me tell you… it took a bit of learning, hurting, getting outside of my comfort zone, healing and listening, to really get what inner happiness feels like. I knew my friend had wonderfully happy days when things just flowed and felt good for her but, without inner happiness as a foundation, she was struggling.

The book I wrote her tells the story of a young outwardly bubbly but desperately unhappy animal’s journey to happiness. The story showcases the robin flying around different settings asking wise elders about big life questions. Cutting a short story shorter, the take home message of the book is “The Answers Lie Within”, meaning it’s awesome and good to ask mentors and “gurus” for advise and guidance… but what’s true for you is only true for you. No one else can know what brings you happiness, because the answer to that question lies within you. So if you find yourself unhappy more often that happy, my advise is to RIGHT NOW take on the belief that the answer to your happiness is within you… The rest will follow.

 

Pink Shoes, Lollipops and Being Happy

Ha ha ha… I have no idea what lollipops have to do with this article BUT… I swear this has something to do with pink shoes and being happy! I went shoe shopping during the weekend with my man… which, honestly, is typically more entertaining than watching the All Blacks (New Zealand’s Rugby Team) kick the butts of the Wallabies (Australia’s Rugby Team) – A big call I know!

So there we were… in the shoe store… the all of a sudden I hear “FOUND THEM” come out of Matt’s mouth. Now we’ve been together long enough for me to know that whatever he’s referring to will be sure to crack me up.

Quickly, I turned around and saw honestly the brightest, most vibrant shoes I have ever seen in my entire life. I cracked up, whipped off my flip-flops and whipped on one of the pinkest, happiest shoes I have ever seen in my LIFE. Matt laughed. The people beside us laughed. I mean seriously, they were BRIGHT! I just had to grab the moment on camera so I pulled out my handy dandy iPhone to capture the shot.

This experience happens in my life on a regular occasion. I remember doing the same with a great buddy of mine, Nate, when I lived in Colorado. One afternoon we found ourselves at Silverthorne, CO where we had hours of entertainment trying on goofy clothes (and not so goofy clothes that we made look goofy with goofy looking faces). We laughed our arses off, took loads of photos and bought lots of laugher to those around us.

 

So guys and gals… Now… I’m not recommending to go out and pull your local mall apart in the name of having fun. But it can’t hurt to try on that goofy t-shirt, pull a funny face… and take a photo… Go Have Fun Being Goofy and Being HAPPY

Share The Love Below.

 

Happy Food For Thought – WOW!

Leo Babauta, the author of the book “The Power of Less” and the guy behind the popular blog Zen Habits, recently published a post about how to be happy anytime.

I’m always happy with what I’m doing, because I don’t compare it to anything else, and instead pay close attention to the activity itself. I’m always happy with whoever I’m with, because I learn to see the perfection in every person. I’m always happy with where I am, because there’s no place on Earth that’s not a miracle.

I’m not always happy… thank goodness!

I’m not always happy… thank goodness!

Liz Benny: On Playing Like A Kid

Playing like a kid fills me with joy and happiness. So I find it strange that adults seem to have forgotten how to play. Now, I’m not blowing my own horn, but I’m totally into playing. I’ll play in business meetings. I’ll play whilst running or in cafes. I’ll play and pull funny faces until the cows come home. I find that people often comment about my playful nature, noticing how it brings joy to others, how it brings people together and/or how it creates reasons for laughter. People have even thanked me for reminding them of how to play. Some even ask how I “do it”. That got me thinking, “How do I do it and why is it so easy for me to play and where did my playful nature come from?”

Well, I look at my grandmother who, in her late eighties (I nearly wrote her age… LOL… she’d not be grateful for that one), still goofs off and has a laugh with my granddad. Last time I visited her she cracked a funny then said, “Do you think I’ll ever grow up?” I was like, “I hope not!” Then I look at my dad who I can have a conversation on the phone that goes like this:

Liz: “What’s your name?” [Said in a goofy babyish tone with a slight English accent]
My Dad: “I dunno. I fink it’s Cyril. I’ve forgot” [Said in equally as babyish tone and some weird accent, probably Irish]
Liz: “Oh… dat’s funny Cyril. Last time we did talk your name was Bert”
My Dad: “Oh yeah… I did change it”… and it goes on and on.

So my family is pretty playful, it would seem, so I guess that’s why I find it easy to play. That’s doesn’t answer HOW I do it though, right? So how DO I play? The first thing that comes to mind is I allow myself to. Plain and simple. I allow myself to play like a kid. I allow myself to goof off. I allow myself to be seen to be playful. I allow myself to recognize that in playing I’m not only getting a huge personal kick of happiness, but I’m causing happiness for others. I also allow myself to not always “get it right”. Not everyone appreciates my playful nature and that’s ok. Now, I know there’s more to it that just allowing, but for the most part that’s it. I allow myself to play.

So, for the “unplayfuls” out there and the folks that have forgotten how to play, I challenge you to ALLOW yourself to play for a week. See how it feels and see how many smiles you can cause in the process. Go play and be happy.

Happy Pete – An Amazingly Happy Man

Happy Pete – An Amazingly Happy Man

Being Passionate About What You Do = Happiness

Being Passionate About What You Do = Happiness

6 Happy Myths Dispelled!

6 Happy Myths Dispelled!

Funny Dorky Happy Video…

… “Funny”… “Dorky” and “Happy”… Pretty much sums it up ladies and gentlemen…

Music Makes The World Happy

It doesn’t matter what mood you’re in, how crap your day has been, how much your kids have annoyed you, boss has pressured you… grab your itouch, your iphone, your icomputer, your idon’tknowanyothernamesofmusicplayers then dial up your favorite song, sit back and listen, even just to one song. Guaranteed to increase in happiness.

Now, we’re all different so what floats your boat may sink someone else’s faster than they can say “O.M.G. Are you seriously listening to Celine Dion?” (admittedly, a comment that I’ve heard a few times in my life). Seriously though, even the heavy metal, hard core, people wearing black t-shirts screaming words into a microphone will juice someone and bring a massive buzz of happiness. To another person Canon and Gigue for 3 Violins will bring floods of happiness. Whatever it is for you, if you’re feeling stink, I highly recommend listening to that piece of music that you just know will fill your heart and soul with the vibes you need.

Check out this cool clip below… and feel happier

(P+C=H) People + Connection = Happiness

… Very Cool Video!

 

 

Feeling Blue? Watch This To Get Happier.

Sometimes in life things happen and you can shift off balance. You know what I mean, right? You were happy yesterday… then something crappy happened… and today you’re … well.. Not so happy. You know what I mean, right?

We’re all humans and our moods change, some more, some less. It’s been scientifically proven that your actions do change your levels of happiness. Watch below for an action you can take that will undoubtedly increase your happiness.

Happiness and Father’s Day … Some Cool Info!

Happiness and Father’s Day … Some Cool Info!

E+P=C (Earthquakes + People = Connection)

It’s been three days since I was home alone in the middle of a 5.7 and 6.3 earthquake in my hometown Christchurch, New Zealand. This is only 4 months after an unforgettable 6.3 quake in February 22 this year, an event which took many, many lives.

That February quake was a shocker! So, for those miles and miles away, unable to comprehend… imagine this. It’s early afternoon. I’d just finished a business call via Skype and was about to head into town to my favourite cafe to coach a client. Then BANG! The house started shaking incredibly violently, the power immediately went out, I heard the chimney smash to the ground of the neighbours lawn and glass light shades smash to the floor. Afterwards there was an airy silence… broken only by sirens of ambulance, fire brigade and police. Reality of what had happened quickly started to sink in. I stood there, on the street, alone.

“So, what’s this got to do with happiness?” I hear you say!

Connection with other human souls saved the day, especially connection with people I knew love and cared about me. It was through this connection that I found peace and felt happier.

After the February quake, it took 1 minute for me to connect via phone with loved ones, it took 5 minutes for a friend to arrive at my house, it took 10 minutes for that friend and I to bike to his brothers house to check on him (where we waited somewhat patiently in the house of complete strangers)… then some hours later, after tidying and calming down, I was on my bike again on my way to stay with friends 30kms away from where the quake really hit. These friends had power (the electricity type), waterlines that were unaffected by the quake (drinkable water)… but more importantly (and MOST importantly) I was in a house filled with people I love dearly.

I’d connected with people. I felt better. I felt home… and was almost (almost!!!!) able to forget about the earthquake.

 

Have a “Happy Attitude”

 

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on my life.  Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or break a company, a church, a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.  I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.  And so it is with you.  We are in charge of our attitudes.

—Charles Swindell

 

To Suck Or Not To Suck…

That is the question.

Well, that depends entirely on what we’re talking about…right? What if I told you that by sucking something with all your heart and soul that you’d be filled with joy…

I’m talking about sucking the last little bit of your milkshake out of your glass!!! What were YOU thinking?!?!

Long story short… I just watched in delight as a friend sucked the last bit of deliciousness out of the bottom of their Iced Mocha… his face, as he made a huge noise, was one of absolute glee and bliss… “I made lots of noise,” he said with a big grinner on his face. It made him happy, that made me happy… and we laughed out loud!

I know it’s not polite to suck the last bit out of a glass and make all that noise. I get that… but really? It made him happy… and me happy… and hurt no-one in the process. So I say, “suck away baby!”